With You Till the End of The Line
Summary:
Richard is worried about his friend Jason Whitaker, who has been acting out of sorts lately. What he finds out later is that this is the anniversary of the death of Jerry Whitaker.
Richard Maxwell looked out the window in a scowl of concentration. What was going on around here, anyway? Jason was acting out of sorts the entire week. Not out of sorts, depressed.
Jason had been brooding, and whatever he did seemed to have a blanket of sadness draped over it. His usual energetic and adventurous nature seemed to disappear completely.
Richard had been too nervous to ask him about what was going on. He wanted to ask Whit if everything was alright, but then noticed Whit was the same way as well. This wasn’t like either of them at all. It was making him worried.
He could hear Jillian’s airpods playing snatches of the Total Liberation Podcast as she listened to it while working. He wasn’t sure if she was supposed to have headphones in on the job, but it kept her busy and relatively quiet, and as long as Jason didn’t take issue with it, he supposed it didn’t matter.
Outside, a brisk November breeze tossed the dry leaves up in the air and stirred them, making them swirl around like a tornado. The leaves of the maple trees outside Triple J’s shivered. It looked like yet another storm was blowing in. This time of year was infamous for that in Odyssey.
Fitting. Richard thought to himself. He checked his watch absently. It was about lunch time. He got out his car keys and pulled on his jacket. Chick-fil-a sounded good.
“Jason? I’m going to get lunch, you want something?” Richard called out. Jillian took no notice.
No reply.
Richard walked up the stairs to his office. “Jason?” The door creaked open. No one was in there.
“Maybe he went already and I just wasn’t paying attention.” He muttered to himself.
He turned and was about to go, when something on the desk flashed in the light and caught his eye. Curiosity got the better of him and he walked to the desk, picking it up. It was a set of dog tags. The metal was a little scratched, but the letters punched into it were still legible. The first tag had the symbol for the US army emblazoned on it. On the back of that, there was a small picture of a good looking young man, barely in his twenties. It had been glued on and smoothed over with mod podge, or something like it. Richard studied the other tag. The letters on the second tag took his breath away.
Jerry Whitaker. 104th squadron, U.S. Army. Blood type O negative. Protestant.
Richard flipped the tag over and saw some dates etched into the back of it. May 29, 1952 – Nov. 12, 1971.
Richard gasped as the sudden weight of reality hit him. November 12. That was today. It all made sense now. He had seen Whit sitting at the Vietnam War memorial in Mcalester Park a couple of days ago. It must have had Jerry’s name on it.
“Jason, I’m so sorry.” Richard whispered. He tenderly placed the tags back on the desk. He felt horrible for Jason for losing his brother, and for Whit, for losing his oldest son.
Richard quietly slipped out of the office and walked down the stairs.
After getting lunch, which he didn’t feel like eating as much anymore, he came back to the shop to find Jason in the back room, sitting at the battered old desk. A water bottle was sitting next to him and there were some food containers sitting in the trash can nearby. He had already eaten lunch. His hands were folded, and the light was gone from his eyes as he kept them downward. Richard felt sadness hit him again, like a punch to the gut.
Not sure what to say, he passed by Jason and patted his shoulder. Jason looked up and smiled sadly at his friend. Richard smiled back. There were some kinds of comfort that didn’t need to be verbal.
Nearly an hour after lunch had finished, Jason and Richard were working in the front room of the shop. It was the afternoon slump again. No one ever came this time of day.
“Where should I put these, Jason?” Richard held up a couple of wooden carved candlesticks.
Jason looked up as though he had been jolted awake.
“Huh? Oh, just put them on the mantle of the fireplace.”
“Gotcha.”
At that moment, Jillian burst in, carrying her lunch and several other shopping bags with her.
Jason looked up with an irritated expression. “Jillian, where have you been? You were supposed to be here over an hour ago. I couldn’t reach you on your phone.”
“I was down at that vegan place on Frith Street, then I realized I hadn’t gone to the mall in nearly a week, so I went there and saw that Rue21 was having a clearance sale!”
Richard decided to hazard a guess. “And even if they weren’t having a sale, you would have gone in anyway?”
Jillian gestured dramatically. “Of course I would have.”
“Mm-hm.” Richard pursed his lips and tried to keep from rolling his eyes. She’s nothing if not predictable. At least as far as her shopping habits go.
Jillian threw several of her bags on the front counter. “And you know what was literally so crazy?”
“What?”
“When I checked out, the cashier asked me if I wanted to donate to a charity that helped struggling Vietnam veterans!”
Richard cast a wary glance at Jason, who continued to listen to this conversation with only a minor level of interest.
“What’s so crazy about that? Veterans Day was yesterday. It’s a worthy cause to donate to.”
“Yeah, well I said “Literally no way, Jose!” That’s a ridiculous cause to donate to!”
Jason jerked to attention. “What? No it’s not. Those veterans served our country and fought for freedom. The sacrifice they made is incredible, and we should do what we can to help them.” His voice was quiet, but Richard could feel the steel and the conviction behind it.
“Are you kidding? The guys who fought in Vietnam were a bunch of killers!”
Richard held up his hand. “Jillian, I don’t think this is a good time to-“
She took no notice. “They went out there and fought for nothing!”
“How could you possibly know that?” Jason stood up. “You weren’t even around when that happened. You don’t even know what you’re talking about!” The intensity in his voice started to grow.
Jillian put her hands on her hips and opened her mouth to protest. “Well I-“
Jason cut her off. “Could you at least think before you shoot your mouth off about things you know nothing about? You do this all the time, can’t you ever be quiet?!”
“Seriously Jason, you need to literally get woke! I didn’t know you were such a war-mongering-person.” Jillian shot back.
Jason slapped his forehead. “Seriously Jillian, just get back to work and shut. Up.”
“I’m only saying-“
Okay, time to get involved. Richard stepped between them. “Jillian, there are some things that you don’t know-“
“Excuse me, are you mansplain-“
Jason had already hit his breaking point. “No!” He snapped. “Just leave me alone, both of you, please.”
Richard could see tears in Jason’s eyes and immediately took a step away. He took Jillian’s wrist and took him with her. Tension hung heavy in the air.
Jason stormed off and went up the stairs, his footsteps echoing across the shop. The door slammed and shook the pictures that hung on the wall.
Richard set his jaw and suppressed the impulse to swear.
Jillian gave him a lascivious smile. “You held my hand.”
Richard glared at her. “Did not! And when Jason comes down you’ve got some serious apologies to make.”
“What? If anyone has an apology to make, it’s him.” She pointed dramatically to the staircase that led up to his office.
Richard had to admit that Jason did not handle this well. “I’m not going to excuse what he said, but you need to take responsibility for what you did in this mess.”
“You leave yourself wide open to several sarcastic comments.”
Jillian’s expression communicated that of a person who didn’t get what he was saying.
Richard closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He couldn’t get emotionally involved. That would only make things worse. Someone had to play the neutral party.
“Jillian, if you want to know why- go to the war memorial at Mcalester Park. You know it right?” He was surprised how even and calm his voice sounded.
“Yeah.”
“Go and look at the names listed there. See if you recognize any of them. After that, take a good, long walk and think through everything you said.”
Jillian looked him in the eyes like she was going to refuse that order. Richard met her gaze with an unmoving resolve. Her eyes darted downward.
“Fine.” She sighed. She made her exit out of the shop. The doorbell jingled, and all fell silent.
Richard heaved a sigh of relief. It wasn’t often he had to play the middle man. Usually he was the one in the skirmish.
“Thanks.” He whispered. “I think you gave me the right words to say there.” His eyes drifted toward the ceiling. “God, Jason needs your help right now. He’s really hurting right now. Please give him peace and comfort him.”
Jason sat in his office, his head resting on his arms while his chest wracked with sobs that were barely contained.
Jerry wasn’t a killer. He wasn’t. He would never. He didn’t fight for nothing. No. He fought for a cause he believed in. He fought for the freedom he wanted to give to others. It wasn’t a lost cause. Was it?
Sometimes, he wondered if Plato was right. He also wondered if the grief would ever end. He only missed him more with time. Could God have worked something good out of all this despair brought about by Jerry’s absence? There was so much that Jason felt like he had missed because his older brother was gone.
The tears continued for quite some time, until it felt like he had run out.
He felt an overwhelming sea of regret, loneliness, and sadness washing over him. There was so much he wished he could tell Jerry. It wasn’t fair. Jerry was too good and had too much potential for him to be taken away so early.
It should have been me.
A light knock came at the door. Jason hurriedly brushed the tears away with his sleeve and wiped the tears off the surface of the desk. He inhaled shakily.
The doorknob turned and opened slightly, revealing a very concerned looking Richard, peeking through timidly.
“Are you okay?”
Jason nodded silently.
“No you’re not.”
Jason could feel the tears welling up again. I thought I had run out already.
“No, really I’ll be okay.”
Richard put his arm around Jason. “Don’t take what Jillian said too seriously. As you said, she was talking about things she didn’t understand, and shot her mouth off.”
“I know. Looking back, I really shouldn’t have snapped at her. Or you for that matter. I’m sorry.”
“Ah, it’s fine. You were reacting. Under the same circumstances, I don’t think I would have done any better.”
Jason gave a thin smile.
“Look, I’ll watch the shop for a while. You go and take a break. As long as you need.”
“Thanks, but it’s okay. I can take care of it on my own.”
“That’s just it, you don’t have to.” Richard paused. “I’m with you till the end of the line.”
Jason could see a smirk flit over Richard’s mouth. “I know that line isn’t original, but it’s no less true.”
Jason chuckled with a twinkle in his eye for the first time in a while. “Thanks. I might actually take you up on that.”
Jason walked down the stairs and grabbed his coat and walked out the door.
“Take your time.” Richard reminded him.
Jason smiled back.
As he walked out the door and down mainstreet, his phone dinged with a text message. It was from Connie. It read: Hey Jason! I know today was Jerry’s death, and I just wanted to say that I’m praying for you.
A gentle assurance spread over Jason. God was always making sure he had what he needed, even when times were dark. With God, family, and friends like Richard, and Connie, life was not all despair.
Originally posted to fanfic.com